Holding Their Memories

2024

This body of work represents self-discovery, working with the themes of gender identity, personal histories, and the self. The images are created by stacking two 35mm color slides on top of each other and scanning them. The action of physically stacking them, as opposed to layering them digitally, yields compositions born from serendipity and intuition. I sourced these slides from my family’s archive. These photos picture my papaw, mamaw, uncle, aunt, and dad. As I sifted through the collection, stacking photo after photo, I realized that I was holding their memories.

As I spent more time with the pictures, staring at them, holding them, talking about them, and thinking about them in every context, I noticed things were changing within me. I was repairing something inside me. Making these images has changed my view of, and relationship with, my family. Before, I had become distanced. Partly because of a shift in my gender identity and in my perspective of myself. Partly because of a name change, one that felt better to bear. Partly because I had stopped holding the same religious beliefs as them. I felt like an outsider, though it’s important to note that there was never any real reason to think so. As I’ve gotten older, I have realized that they still care for a part of me, even if they don’t know every part. So why discard that love over perceptions? Making these images has repaired my relationship with myself and my inner relationship with my family. I feel connected now; I feel I have a greater understanding. And these images are to thank for it.